On the pleasure of whining.

Whining is an art form. When you can proudly introduce yourself as an accomplished whiner, there is a certain amount of respect to be demanded from the audience. Whiners examine life in minute details, and realize that the world doesn't orbit around them. It is a profound enlightenment, and something I would suggest that you realize as quickly as you can, then proceed to find a friend near you, and begin whining.

I am not an accomplished whiner although some might beg to differ. When I whine, I can't express myself in the needy yet persuasive manner the virtuosos can. If there was a talented whiner, the audience would be swayed by his complaints and find themselves helplessly captivated by his troubles. A whiner's services can be very rewarding, especially in discontented societies, such as America, where good whiners have made themselves fabulously rich and famous.

On a parting note, I would like to remind all of the whiner/millionaire wannabes that whining must be done with a purpose. If you whine needlessly, then you risk being despised by those around you. Once you do start whining, you will find that it is quite addictive and soothing. Burdens melt away at your words, and worries dissipate. Don't be afraid to whine, for I am here to listen.